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Tim Lefebrve, Class of 2026, was a remarkable person who touched many lives in profound ways. Whether you knew him as a dear friend, were acquainted with him through the Honors Program, theater productions, as a Greyhound Ambassador, or even if you are just learning about Tim now, his death may evoke a range of painful emotions. This is especially so because Tim was so young and so full of life. Such a death can leave us feeling shaken, unsure, and vulnerable. 

The grief response following traumatic loss is often intensified since there is little to no opportunity to prepare for the loss, say good-bye, or prepare for bereavement. Family and friends are suddenly forced to face the loss of a loved one. Although it is summer, and many students are at home, feelings of grief do not take a break and there will be a natural desire to be together during this time of grief. Even though most of us will continue to be spread apart over the next several weeks, it is important to remind yourself that you are not alone. Please reach out to one another to talk about and acknowledge your loss, and to share your feelings. Also, rely on your friends, family, and other support at home and remember that common reactions to loss include:  
Emotions

• Sadness, yearning, depressed mood
• Feelings of helplessness and loss of control
• Panic and anxiety.
• Fear of death
• Shock, denial, numbness.
• Guilt
• Anger
• 尝辞苍别濒颈苍别蝉蝉鈥�
• Remorse or regret
• Physical Symptoms
• Changes in sleep and/or eating patterns
• Anxiety/autonomic nervous system arousal
• Exaggerated startle response
• Increased somatic complaints or physical illnesses, such as headaches, colds, stomach aches, and back pain
• Fatigue
• Changes in Behavior
• Social withdrawal or isolation
• Avoiding stimuli that are reminders of the deceased
• Increased use of alcohol or substances
• Changes in activity level
• Changes in Thinking
• Poor concentration
• Confusion, forgetfulness
• Feelings of unreality
• Preoccupation with the deceased 

HOW CAN YOU COPE? 
It is important to take care of yourself following a sudden loss.

• Talk to family or friends.
• Seek counseling.
• Read poetry or books.
• Write in a journal.
• Pray and seek spiritual support.
• Listen to music.
• Remember other difficult times and how you survived them. Draw upon your inner strength.
• Be patient with yourself.
• Maintain a normal routine. Even if it is difficult to do regular activities, try anyway. Putting more structure into a daily routine will help one to feel more in control.
• Get enough sleep, at least plenty of rest.
• Try to get regular exercise. This can help relieve stress and tension.
• Keep a balanced diet. Watch out for junk food, or high calorie comfort food binges.
• Drink plenty of water.
• Limit alcohol or drug use. Such substances should not be used as a way of masking pain.
• Do what comforts, sustains, and recharges. 

Each one of us has an individual style of coping with painful times. The list above may help you generate ideas about how to manage your feelings of grief. Talking to friends who have dealt with loss in the past can help you generate new ways of coping. Only you know what coping skills will be best for you.鈥� Healthy coping skills are important in resolving a loss. They cannot take away your feelings of loss. They can, however, help you move forward in the healing process.

HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT OTHERS WHO ARE GRIEVING? 
People who are grieving often feel isolated or lonely in their grief. Soon after the loss, support from others may decrease. As the shock of the loss fades, there is a tendency on the part of the griever to feel more pain and sadness. Well-meaning friends may avoid discussing the subject due to their own discomfort with grief or their fear of "making the person feel bad." They may "not know what to say." 

People who are grieving are likely to fluctuate between wanting some time to themselves and wanting closeness with others. They may want someone to talk to about their feelings. Showing concern and thoughtfulness about a friend or loved one shows that you care.

• Talk: Talk openly with the bereaved person about their loss and feelings. Don't try to offer false cheer or minimize the loss. Allow those grieving time to talk.
• Be available:鈥疌all, stop by to talk, share a meal or activity. Your presence and companionship are important.
• Listen/be patient: Listening is an often-overlooked gift of yourself. Allow the bereaved person to vent feelings. Don't judge the person's thoughts or feelings. Don't feel you need to offer advice. Listening itself is very powerful. You don鈥檛 need to have the answers.
• Consider: Consider asking someone if they鈥檙e open to telling you about their memories of and relationship with the person they lost. Many of us avoid asking such questions out of fear of 鈥渟aying the wrong thing,鈥� but asking questions like this conveys care and can give someone permission to open up.
• Take some action: Send a card, write a note, or call. This is important not just immediately after the loss, but especially later, when grief is still intense, but when others have resumed their daily lives and support for the bereaved may dwindle.
• Encourage self-care: Encourage your friend to care for themself physically, emotionally, and socially. Encourage your friend to seek out support and/or professional help, if appropriate.
• Accept your own limitations: Accept that you cannot eliminate the pain your friend is experiencing. Grief is a natural, expected response to loss, and each person must work through it in their own way and at their own pace. Be supportive, but care for yourself too. 

WHERE CAN YOU FIND SUPPORT? 
The Loyola Counseling Center is open during the summer months for grief-related support and resource connections. Please call the Counseling Center 410-617-2273 (M-Th 8:30am-5pm, F 8:30am-12pm) to connect with a counselor. Our full range of services will resume at the start of the Fall semester, including individual counseling and a weekly bereavement support group. We are in Humanities 150. Counseling services are free and confidential. 
 
Professionals in Campus Ministry are also available to offer support. Call 410-617-2222 or stop by the office, which is located underneath the Chapel. 
To find counseling support at home, please consider the following resources: or . These sites offer a search feature to find licensed counselors, social workers, and psychologists throughout the country. View our Comprehensive Referral Assistance information for additional resources.